There was once a time when Manual Punishment was the norm. Parents went to the extreme to adjust their children’s attitudes or payback for bad behavior. Even schools offered physical contact such as slapping kids with rulers or other spanking and smacking.
My Dad had a special belt and a paddle that hung behind the refrigerator. If these tools came out, we knew someone was going to get a smackdown. He never hit me with a closed hand but hitting was in the disciplinary toolbox. A swift kick or a smack to the back of my head was also on the menu. Just seeing that belt or paddle come out was usually enough.
My Brother was an expert at not getting into trouble but having me get punished. Once the sentence was fulfilled, it was hard to take it back. My Dad was from a generation when parents physically hit their kids. Corporal punishment was common in homes, schools, and churches. Sometimes it led to a black eye or worse. Just because they did, does not make it right.
The wooden paddle was 3 feet long with 1-inch holes drilled into it. This helped speed up the swing. My name was written on one side and my brother’s name was on the other side. This paddle left a mark.
The punishment that hurt the most was when my bad behavior prevented me from going hunting or fishing. Being denied something that I really loved was real punishment. The Smacking or paddling just made me learn to duck. Getting hit simply taught me how to not get caught, lie, or duck.
I never paddled or touched my kids in a disciplinary way. It didn’t work for me. My wife and I found other ways to change their behaviors and attitudes. We were both active in our kids’ activities such as Scouts, school, and sports.
Girls were easier than boys. Young men are just damned stubborn. When my son was a challenge. I took him outdoors. We hunted, shot, fished, hiked, biked, camped, and most importantly talked. When life is simpler, it becomes easier to communicate. Sitting in a boat, blind, or on a shore invites conversation. If I didn’t know an answer, I would ask another question. When my son could answer his own questions, the problems were solved. We worked on the problems together without anger and pain.
Normally bad behavior is the result of a kid wanting and needing attention. When they are young, they have trouble differentiating between good or bad behavior. Any behavior response is good since they are getting attention. Teaching them the difference is critical and requires more, not less time together.
Playing catch was a perfect way to invite a conversation, thought or to ask a question. The return or response was easy to say. Ping pong, badminton, skeet, trap, or just helping each other will set the stage for success. This physical exchange made verbal exchange easier.
Parents are human and sometimes kids may need a swift kick in the a##. Restraint and patience will do more to resolve the problem without physical bruising and pain. There are many more tools and strategies to use today. Be open-minded and keep the paddles and fists put away.
When it came to gun and weapon safety, my father had no gray areas. If I were to make a safety mistake, sweep my weapon or aim it at another person or pet, my weapon would be wrapped around a tree. He meant it and I believed him.
Figure out what the kid likes and use that for leverage. Hunting and fishing arer great baits for good behavior!
Montana Grant
