Floating and tubing in the Hoot Owl waters requires skill. Not every tuber should be tubing. Some may be too young or inexperienced to manage the float.

As the Scoutmaster of troop 676 in Bozeman, I was canoeing the lower Madison with our troop. This would be the first section of navigating the entire Missouri River watershed, starting at Warm Springs access. All our Scouts and paddlers were trained and had reached Tuberty.

Our troop included some family and friends. Each brought skills that helped everyone stay safe. As the Scoutmaster, I always stayed as the tail end Charlie. My job was to make sure everyone was ahead and safe. My bow paddler was the daughter of an assistant scout leader. 

We made a good team, and we were near Damselfly Access when we encountered an older woman stuck in the weeds. She was floating in an inner tube and barely conscious. Her drunken and immature floating buddies went downstream without a Tail End Charlie. We tied a rope to her tube and began paddling her to the Blacks Ford Access. Her sugar count was down, and she had no water, so we gave her a granola bar, and a water bottle, and started down the river. 

It took some hefty paddling, but we managed to get her to the access. Her drunk friends were glad to see her, but they had obviously not reached Tuberty. Her friends had left her to manage on her own. She had never tubed these waters and was a diabetic. The combination of heat, exercise, and lack of fluids and support put her life in danger. 

Fortunately, an Old Fart Scoutmaster and a 12-year-old girl saved her life. Tubing on a hot day sounds cool but… we live in Montana. Most accidents happen far away from hospitals and help. Floaters that have reached Tuberty get it. They prepare and understand the safety issues. There may be some alcohol involved but someone that has reached Tuberty, is the Designated Tuber. 

That’s what Montanan’s, that have reached Tuberty, do!

Montana Grant