Okay….so, something happened. It seriously BLEW MY MIND.  To people who have been exposed to these, in my opinion, vile creatures, I want you to bear with me.  I have a major dislike for moths.  It all started at the age of around six when I was wondering what those white smelly things in the box were.  They were moth balls.  I was wondering why anybody would want to bring moths around, but I didn’t think anything of it.  Then I was told those things actually deterred moths and kept them away…I was like, “WHAT?”  Who cares if a moth is around, thought my six year-old mind.  I, then, heard the words that are forever embedded in my brain and changed my entire life after that point.  THEY EAT CLOTHES.  What?  Those harmless fluttery things?  They EAT clothes?  My grandmother proceeded to show me some old clothes that moths had “ravaged”.  If I recall correctly, they were old flannels of my grandpa’s.  What. The. Heck. So, this was lodged in my head, and I would see butterflies, and be like, “Wow, those are some pretty colors!”  I would be corrected that those were actually moths.  Wait, WHAT?  They disguise themselves as butterflies?  How can you even tell the difference?  Well, apparently, you can if you know what you’re looking at you can, but I wasn’t even interested in learning at that point.  All I knew was that moths eat clothing, people try to get rid of moths and they sometimes dress up like butterflies.  Nope.  I was done.  Since that time, I have had a complete disgust for moths.  They are nothing I even like SEEING.  I am fully aware they are not going to sting me, bite me or harm me in any way, but people still try to get rid of them, they eat clothes AND THEY FLUTTER AROUND LIKE BUTTERFLIES!  Needless to say, this whole discovery made me realize that butterflies were just as evil as the moths–only because they fluttered about and dressed up like each other.  This is only the beginning.  Now that you have the history on my disdain for moths, check this out…

Why, God, WHY????

I was sitting outside on our property yesterday after a nice hike with a friend in one of Montana’s most scenic towns–Superior.  It was awesome.  70 degrees of blue sky, sunshine and freshly-mowed green grass.  Glorious.  I noticed a hummingbird to my left and wondered if I would have time to get a picture of it, but it darted away before I could even stand up to see.  I noticed its wings were flapping slower than the typical hummingbirds I watched growing up at our feeder on 72 acres of gorgeous, untouched land with dense forests and open-faced hills back in the Midwest.  I didn’t give it a thought.  I had seen hummingbirds on our property before, so I thought it would be neat to get a hummingbird feeder.  Mostly because those are the only birds I really like, other than emus and ostriches and the birds that can’t fly.  That, in itself, was odd for me, as those little hummingbirds remind me of mosquitoes, or dragon flies–which are pretty cool as long as they are just cruising by me.  Anyway, I went inside and started working on a post for The Montana Outdoor Radio Show’s website, you know–the one you’re on right now–montanaoutdoor.com.

My boyfriend came in with a sheepish smile and said, “Hey, look at this.”  He didn’t have a beer in his hand, so I figured it would be safe to look.  He showed me a video on his phone that included the hummingbirds I was looking at earlier.  I was like, “Oh my gosh! I saw them!  I was thinking we should get a hummingbird feeder and get rid of the bird houses.” (Okay, maybe I left the birdhouse part out, but I really would like to get rid of the birdhouses).  His response made me laugh.  He said with a huge smile that he could barely contain, “That’s a moth.”  I said, no it isn’t…… and he showed me a slow-motion video of the bird’s wings flapping.  He said, “They are called hummingbird moths.”  I said, “I am pretty sure you are mixing up your words, there, dude.”  He started laughing harder and said, “I’m serious.”  He wasn’t sure what the actual name was, though, so I still thought he did some shots outside or something.  I looked it up.  What. The. Heck.  SERIOUSLY???? He was being serious!!! THAT WAS A MOTH!! All of those “hummingbirds” I wanted to feed were moths!!!!  WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT THING HANGING OFF THE FRONT? I was like, ” I SAW A BEAK, THOUGH!”  He was laughing even harder than before and said, “It’s their pollen thing.”  Seriously? Seriously.  So, I am just saying to all of you that love those things and think they are great that I am opening a hunting season on them on our property.  If you would like them, figure out how to trap them (the most effective form of wildlife–and insect–relocation) and take them away.  I am still uncomfortable with the fact that these exist at all, much less on our property.  How on earth did I not know about these?  I must have been REALLY sheltered–even though I grew up off-grid and spent every daylight hour of my life that I wasn’t in school outside until I was about 11 years-old.

So, long story short, don’t ever assume you know what you’re looking at just because it resembles something else.  I am not a negative person, but always assume the worst when it comes to butterfly/moth-looking things! lol  I just can’t believe it.  A moth.  A moth the size of a monster.  NOT COOL!  But, I will survive, and I will manage these things to the best of my abilities.  So, if  you ever want to freak me out, just start “fluttering” and dress like a moth.  As long as I can’t see your face, you will laugh for hours.  Once I see you’re human, I will see through the diguise.  Although, I would believe, at this point, they get to be 200 pounds!  Just as some people dislike certain breeds of dogs, certain types of fish or even sportsmen…I do not like moths!  The end.

Here’s a slo-mo video that my boyfriend took last night.  I can’t even watch it. lol

(Feature photo via Pinterest)